Girlllllll you read that title right! I am PREGNANT, with a whole human! Saying it out loud is still daunting if I am honest, but before going into that, let’s backtrack for a second!
Where It Started vs. How It’s Going!
If you haven’t had a chance to view it, I posted a very transparent experience back in January of my story as to when I left a domestic violent marriage “My Story I Left DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” during that video I shared how my ex-partner and I tried in that marriage to have a child together and I experienced 7 miscarriages. Partly due to the stress, abuse, and simply God said NO! I know reading that is intense, but now 2.5 years later I have processed those losses. It was not being a part of God’s plan for my life.
As a proud mother of two amazing boys, it was during those difficult times of losing those pregnancies it was having them that kept me grounded. I have always wanted a third child. I can remember as a small girl wanting to be a mom of three, I just didn’t know how that would look in my life…especially at 38 years old.
Fast forward, I have relocated back to my hometown, starting fresh and doing the work. That included mental, physical, and emotional healing. I left my ex in 2018 and I most definitely did not feel the urge to date anyone but myself. It was extremely important to me to address any hurt and trauma before bringing any man into my and the children’s life.
I prayed to God to send me a partner that was a complete human. Yes, I wanted to date someone who was established, grounded, and self-sufficient but most important was healed from traumas, didn’t possess “mommy issues” or at least addressed them, and was patient. Dating after so much trauma was a risk for both involved plus I know me most of all! I am sensitive and feared starting a relationship when previous decisions didn’t lead me to the best outcome. I also wanted a partner who would be a good fit for the boys. A righteous man who is not to be a father figure but a positive role model. They already have a father ya know, so as things have turned out GOD DID THAT!
Sis tried me! Sis is my OBGYN….yes my beautiful black female obstetrician-gynecologist! I have to mention that literally the first go at it we got pregnant so it turns out nothing is wrong with me. God intervened and SAID WHAT HE SAID regarding the previous attempts in the past!
Back to my OBGYN trying me…apparently, pregnancies over the age of 35 make you geriatric. For those who don’t know the mean of such a word, it means OLD girl….like Nana old. All jokes aside the medical field deem our peer group advanced maternal age. The audacity, to treat me like I am ancient. My own sister is having a field day with the ‘type” of pregnancy I am having this go around. Either way, what’s important to note is doctors feel you are at higher risk for all types of issues while pregnant over the age of 35, but sis I rebuke that in JESUS NAME!
My experience 10 years later
So much has changed in 10 years y’all. Besides my body literally playing a practical joke on me on a daily basis, the test is insane! Did you know you can find out the gender of your child at a whopping 12 WEEKS? During both pregnancies with the boys, I was well into my 20th week before we even had an idea of their gender. MIND BLOWN! so needless to say the prenatal nurses know what I’m having and they just smile at me every appointment because they know I’m waiting for my gender reveal…I must admit I am nervous and excited all at the same time!
The next test I had to take is called NIPT (non-invasive prenatal test) which is blood work testing for any chromosomal abnormalities, such as down syndrome, trisomy, etc. It can be nerve-racking, to say the least, but with God’s grace baby came back with normal markers. After getting past that test but there was one final one we had to pass and it was for Spina Bifida.
God, Please Don’t Let Anything Be Wrong
I received a call on a Friday and my nurse called to tell me my blood work came back with high markers for Spina Bifida so naturally, my heart sank. Not because I would love this baby any less but goodness my journey has been intense. Surviving a violent relationship, finding love again, creating life to then run into possible medical issues. This can’t be happening!
The worst thing you can do is google…sis stay off of google. It literally turned me into a tailspin of worry. A possible unnecessary worry but I was told by my doctor it could just be a possible false positive. Either way, I cried, I couldn’t sleep, I was anxious. I prayed often asking God to make the doctors wrong as he is the ultimate surgeon.
I was instructed to get a full-body anonymity sonogram of the baby’s entire body to rule out any developmental concerns the blood test was indicating. So after a very long week, they were able to fit me in literally the day before my gender reveal to look at this baby in full swing!
Well, all I have to say is BUT GOD! the baby is 100% healthy! It was so funny they went to apply the sonogram tool on my belly and the baby was face down the full spine on display. Apparently, the baby knew what they were there to do! It was the most beautiful spine I’ve ever seen in my life! So basically this child is going to give me a run for my money from conception.
What are my symptoms?
As far as symptoms go, I never had morning sickness, never had any food aversions and honestly, the ONLY real symptom is I slept 25hours a day! That’s right I am a functioning zombie. I am so blessed that I can work from home because better believe it if there isn’t a meeting on my calendar I am taking cat naps like a professional. I craved rootbeer early in my pregnancy and now I’m obsessed with fruit, everything but honeydew…eww.
Well, I guess I’m starting over!
I know some my age have been trying to conceive for years and age doesn’t matter as long as the end goal is their baby in their arms, and there will be others who think girl you have a 17 and 10yr old what were you thinking…you were almost free!
Well to those people…you right ha! However the desire of my heart was always to be a mama to 3 before I was 40yrs old and yes there was a time I completely gave up on the idea, however, God had a completely different plan for my life. He always fulfilled the desires of my heart, I just didn’t know the timing!
So Aunties and Uncle’s a new baby coming in summer 2021! Let me get my life together, I clearly have a registry to build, because I got nothing!
I know I have been MIA from my blog and honestly social media for some time but honey, she’s been healing and growing! I’m BACK and better than ever! Stay logged in on the latest and greatest and make sure to subscribe to the newsletter so you get notified of all the things!